It is certainly nice to have 26 Tips for Surviving Grade 6, with pots of tween wisdom from my narrator, Becky Lennox. But you will need more tips than that in the average lifetime (unless you plan to stay in sixth grade forever). You might find the following survival tips useful. In fact, you should probably memorize them.
Wilderness Survival Tips
- Don’t go in the wilderness without a survival kit (matches, compass, bandages, water, snacks, phone, flashlight, reading material, blanket and pillow).
- Don’t eat any mushrooms. And stay away from gingerbread houses. Try cattails instead.
- Don’t steal food from a wolverine. (It is probably rotten, anyway.)
- If you get in a fight with a wolverine for stealing its food, use balsam resin as an antiseptic for cuts and abrasions. (The wolverine won’t like the feel of it, but it’s for the best.)
- If it’s winter, expose some skin to the sun to cheer yourself up. Might as well die happy.