Be sure to read 26 Tips for Surviving Grade 6 for oodles of tween wisdom from its narrator, Becky Lennox. But you might need even more tips than that book offers — unless you plan to stay in sixth grade forever. Becky thinks you might, in the average lifetime, find the following survival tips essential. In fact, you should probably memorize them.
Wilderness Survival Tips
- Don’t go in the wilderness without a survival kit (matches, compass, bandages, water, snacks, phone, flashlight, reading material, blanket and pillow).
- Don’t eat any mushrooms. And stay away from gingerbread houses. Try cattails instead.
- Don’t steal food from a wolverine. (It is probably rotten, anyway.)
- If you get in a fight with a wolverine for stealing its food, use balsam resin as an antiseptic for cuts and abrasions. (The wolverine won’t like the feel of it, but it’s for the best.)
- If it’s winter, expose some skin to the sun to cheer yourself up. Might as well die happy.